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Sex Joke

OBSCENE PHONE CALL

“Hello darling,” breathed the obscene phone caller. “If you can guess what’s in my hand, I’ll give you a piece of the action.”
“”Listen Dude,” drawled the lil’ Texas lady, “If y’all can hold it in one hand, I ain’t interested.”

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Fantasm

Sharing Mendy again

So apparently the word has got out that Mendy likes to fuck other guys. Friends I hardly know have been stopping by a lot lately. The other night Mendy was already in her pj’s, which consists of a loose fitting tank top and panties. We were about to smoke one and go to bed. Just then someone knocked on the door.
I answered it and it was Jeff, and old friend I hadn’t seen in years. I invited him in and we sat down. I introduced him to Mendy and he commented what a lucky guy I was to have such a fine looking chick. I asked if he still smoked and he said yes, so I fired up the hooter. I was sitting in my chair and Jeff on the couch, Mendy sat on my lap and did the passing. She was lifting off my lap, bent over, stretching out to pass it. I couldn’t resist grabbing her ass every time she did that. She would say “stop it” sit back and take a hit. The next time I asked Jeff how was the view from the front. “It’s great” he said with a big old smile. I grabbed her ass again the next time and she got a little pissed and said, “ I’m gonna set on his lap if you do that again.” Well, of course I did, and she plopped right down on Jeff’s lap. She was kind of sideways, facing us both. She bent my way to hand the doobie to me and winked at me. I could clearly see right down her top. Mendy has such pretty little tits. Her nipples were hard as usual. I couldn’t help myself, I grabbed a handful of tit this time.
She called me an asshole and sat back down on Jeff’s lap. The joint was about out and I was pretty buzzed now, so the next time instead of taking the joint, I grabbed her shirt and pulled. She pulled back too and when she landed back on Jeff’s lap she was topless.
I said “so how you like those apples?” Jeff said, “They look pretty sweet to me.” Mendy stuck a tit in his face and she told Jeff to give it a kiss. He gave her nip a little peck. Mendy said, “ You can do better than that!” So he started to suck on one tit and feeling the other one. Mendy was rubbing his crotch and made the comment, “Oh my, you have a big one.” They started to kiss. I could see their tongues flicking back and forth as he was playing with her tits. My dick was raging hard now. They were going at it like a couple school kids making out. Jeff slid his hand down the front of her panties. Mendy opened her legs. He was working her pussy pretty good. Mendy said, “Let me taste your fingers.” Jeff pulled out two soaking wet fingers and put them to her mouth. She sucked on them like it was a dick. Then she slid down to her knees, undid his pants and slid them off.
Two seconds later his big fat dick was in her mouth. I didn’t want to just watch so I got undressed and took a seat on the couch beside Jeff. She didn’t even take notice of me, just kept slurping on his cock. Slobbering all over the head, flicking her tongue on the sensitive tip, and jacking what she couldn’t get her mouth around. She gives the best head and was sucking his dick with gusto. Mendy started talking dirty and said, “cum in my mouth damn it, I want to taste your cum.” Jeff moaned, laid his head back and gave her what she wanted,,, a big old load. She kept sucking him for quite a while after he came and licking up any cum that happened to dribble out of her mouth. She wanted his dick to stay hard so she could fuck him I’m sure.
Mendy got up and put her hands on my shoulders, bent over and told Jeff to fuck her from behind. She put her forehead against mine and looked right in my eyes. We kind of bumped heads every time he drove his dick into her little pussy. I pulled her nipple with one hand and rubbed her clit with the other. She started to cum, grabbed the back of my head and buried her tongue in my mouth. I could taste his dick and cum, kind of grossed me out which made her happy I think. She was moaning into my mouth as she was kissing me. My dick was throbbing for attention by now.
She pulled her pussy away from him, grabbed my cock and guided her love hole to it. She just let the head of my dick slide into her hot, slick pussy and said, “feel how wet he is making my pussy!!” she rose up and offered her ass back to Jeff. She was moaning and groaning and saying how she loved that big dick. Jeff grabbed her hips and was drilling her hard, then pulled her ass into him as hard as he could and pumped a load deep in her pussy. When he was done cumming she sat back down on my dick. Now her pussy was really wet and hot and I could feel her still quivering from her orgasms. I was so horny by now my dick started pulsing right off and I pumped my cum deep in her pussy. Mendy said, “You didn’t last very long. I want more.” When she pulled up off me a big glob of mine and Jeff’s cum came running out of her pussy onto my belly.
They went to the bedroom and fucked for what seemed like an hour. This time I wasn’t invited so I fired up another doob and just listened to them fuck. After Jeff left, I went back to the bedroom, crawled on top her and slid my still raging dick into her dripping pussy. My dick slid in with no resistance at all. She was loose, hot and sloppy. I was so horny thinking of her just getting fucked that a couple strokes were I could manage and I popped off in her again. “See why I like to fuck other guys” she said and rolled over to sleep.
The end

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Fiction

The Epic First Time

Blair and Liam have been in love since Blair’s senior year of highschool. After a month of living together, Blair is finally ready to give up her virtue.

True Story

Toy Store Boy: Prologue: Virginity

Prologue: Virginity
I opened the bedroom door. It wasn’t my bedroom but it was the room I was staying in this week. I opened the door and there she was. I didn’t know she was in the room when I had left the pool, but there she was none the less. I was downstairs swimming in the pool when that dumb ass song came on, that stupid dumb ass song. I could feel myself getting worked up as that washed up pop star sang, so I slipped away as fast as possible. I was thinking of Katie and becoming really worked up as I ran up the stairs. I was pissed that at my age this Dumb ass song was still affecting me like I was still 12 years old. I was just going to take care of myself really quickly and return to the pool but there Katie standing in the room.
I opened the door to see her standing there wearing only a pair of pink swim suit bottoms with a daisy on the front. She looked at me as if I had walked in on her intentionally while she was changing. When I opened the door she leaning over to pick up a shirt off the bed.
We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, I couldn’t take my eyes off her nearly naked body. The obsession I had felt for her all these years causing my already worked up body to switch to full power. I jumped into an erection so hard that it hurt, yet I still couldn’t say anything to her or take my eyes off her. She was so beautiful, her still wet body from the pool glistening, her full breasts, nipples hard and pointing from the cold air in the room.
I had dreamed of seeing her naked again and now she was standing there topless and there was no way for me to hide the erection trying to burst through my loose swim shorts. I should say that when I said naked again, that I had still technically only seen her topless I still had never seen her out of her panties. But I really wanted to. Two minutes later I might have.
I wanted to move but was frozen. She too seemed to be in some kind of shock because she was saying nothing or moving herself. I was so worked up that I thought I was going to die of embarrassment until I realized that she wasn’t looking at me but at my shorts.
She had a look on her face that I couldn’t place it slightly resembled the look on her face when she was 14 in the back of the toy store. In the 4 years I had really gotten to know her I thought I understood her, but she was looking at my erection and all I could tell was that it wasn’t a look of embarrassment.
I don’t know what took me over in that moment but I pulled my pants down letting them just hit the floor, but not stepping out of them. I stood there nude and the first real look of embarrassment came across her face, I could see it spread though her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. I was surprised that she was embarrassed because it wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen my penis before, that’s how we met for crying out loud, but this was different. We were older now and things had been indifferent between us since that night when I was 16.
I grew bolder. I worked up all my courage and moved across the room to her. Without a word I leaned in and kissed her neck. My body was pressing against hers and I felt her shutter. I had expected her to push me away and tell me we’d moved past this, years ago. At first she was non responsive I was about to pull away when she moved my face from her neck and kissed me on the mouth. We kissed lightly at first then moving into heavier kisses. I opened her mouth with my tongue and both of ours danced together. It was the most passionate kiss we’d had since the night at the barn.
I couldn’t believe that I was kissing her. It had been three years since we kissed. I’d wanted this for so long and it was so wrong. I didn’t care about right or wrong in that second I was finally getting to kiss her again. I knew that she had, had sex before but I still hadn’t. All I could think about was I could loose my virginity to her right here and now and it was all due to that dumb ass song. That god damn song always worked me up because it reminded me of the first time I met Katie. That dumb ass song was the catalysts to our whole relationship years ago.
We were still standing and kissing hard when my excitement became to much and I came on her. It happened without much warning, she was leaning against me pressing it down against her thigh, when all of a sudden I let loose and I shot myself down her leg. I was embarrassed, and I turned my head away.
“It’s ok, it wouldn’t be us with out you going off early,” she whispered in my ear pulling my face back to hers, “I can’t deny how wrong this is but, your my toy store boy and you’ve always been so……..” she spoke softly right before kissing me again.
“I think I’m in love you,” I told her.
“Don’t make this worse then it is,” she said lightly, kissing me again. She pulled away and lied down on the bed. She took my hand and pulled me to her.
“I don’t know how much time we have,” she whispered in my ear as I lied on top of her. Despite my early release I was still really hard. There was know way I was going soft at this moment with my dreams coming true. She reached down and slid her swim suit off. I moved between her legs looking intently at her beautifully shaved pussy. It was more beautiful then I had ever imagined. I couldn’t believe I was finally seeing it. She took me in hand and brought me to her. I thrust forward not really knowing what I was doing. She moaned and I came again almost right away. She smiled as I came and ran her hand along my cheek. I didn’t stop thrusting.
I was inside her and I was on fire. I’m not sure how long we were together before it was over, but it probably wasn’t as long as it felt. I know it was way to short to cover for the 6 years of yearning behind it. I was lost in a world of my own creating. I’d never felt so good or emotional. I couldn’t get enough of her, I began to kiss her neck again when she told me we needed to stop.
“This is so wonderful, but we should get back to the party before some one notices were both missing,” she said softly. I rolled off of her putting my arms around her, pulling her close, putting my head on her breasts. I could hardly breath from exhaustion and both orgasms.
“No one will suspect that we were up here doing this.”
“No. But we’ve been up here for a while and I don’t want to be found out. It would be…….bad” She paused and started stroking my hair.
She got up off the bed and her hair fell over her face. I didn’t move, she looked at me in a sideway glance her hair covering half her face. I couldn’t see the expression on her face. It was all starting to hit me what just happened. My breathing and thoughts returning to normal. It was then that I started go get scared. What were we going to do now? What if some one found out? Oh god I had cum inside her! She could get pregnant. A mixture of emotions started swirling in my head. Love, fear, happiness, and disappointment our moment was over.
“Katie….. I…..?” I didn’t know what to say. She was putting her shorts on.
“Don’t………. We can talk about this tonight.” She said picking up her shirt off the other bed, “I’m just worried that some one will come up here and over hear, I’ll see you down stairs.”
“Ok.” I kind of croaked. I wanted to hold her and she was leaving. I hopped she wasn’t ashamed of doing it with me. I got off the bed and pulled on my jeans and lied back down on the bed reliving it in my head. It wasn’t so much the fact that I got laid for the first time but the realization that I finally slept with Katie. The bed still had her sent on it. I laid there and drifted off to sleep.

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Fiction

What did you say? [ Part 3 ]

[ Part 3 ]
“Matt? What are-” Mom stopped when she saw that I was now halfway into her ass.
“Uh- Hi uh Mom…” I said, still shooting a little cum into her ass from earlier.
“What are you doing! You said that we can’t!”
“I am sixteen now, I think it’s alright.” I said, not sure of what to do now that she was awake.
“Don’t stop! Oh please, don’t fucking stop!” I was now going in and out of her, she was right on the edge of an orgasm, when she stoped me.
“Let me see my son’s dick.” Yep, she’s still horny. She took my rock solid dick and spat on the head.
“What are you-” I stopped when she took my entire length into her mouth. She was obviously enjoying it by the speed of which she was going.
“Does your son taste good?” I asked her. I don’t know what I’m saying, ive seen it in pornos and stuff so I thought it fit.
“Mmm hmm..” She said, eyes clintched. She was about to have an explosive orgasm.
She started to grab my balls and gave them a tight squeeze, which hurt at first, but as she cumed, she slowly loosened her grip. She started to beath slower, her eyes where still shut but you could see some relief in them.
She stopped sucking, opened her eyes, and she looked at me with her beautiful, sparkling blue eyes, we both grew silent. I leaned in for a little kiss, but she had other intentions. She grabbed me and yanked my head to hers and we started to make out like teenagers who where madly in love. ur tongues inside each others mouths and everything.
I didn’t know about her but I didn’t want to stop. I tried to last as long as I could, but there was a knock on the front door.
“Matt? Are you home?” I recognized that voice, it was my hot Algebra teacher, Ms. S. She never told us students her last name, so she just said to call her Ms. S.
“Go upstairs, we’ll finish this later.” I whispered to Mom. She gave me a long kiss before grabbing her bra and panties and ran up the shag carpeted stairs.
“Hold on a sec, I’m coming!” I yelled out, trying to get my pants on.
I opened the door and saw that Ms. S. had on a real slutty skin tight dress that barley even covered her ass.
“What are you doing here so late?” I asked her, trying to cover my boner that still hadn’t gone away from earlier.
“I wanted to chat, can you come to my car real fast? Don’t worry we are just going to lean on the hood, I just need a smoke.”
“Uh alright…” I said, following her while not taking my eyes off of her nice, young, maybe even virgin,ass.
She lit up a cigarette and said, “Do you want to go somewhere with me?”
“Where? Why? How long?” I said, not sure how to react.
“Maybe my place, to have fun for the night.” She said. “It’s not too late, it’s 6:57.”
“Let me check with my perants real fast.” I said, running in through the front door, nearly tripping over my own feet as I ran up the stairs and down the hall to Mom’s room.
“That was quick.” Mom said, rubbing herself.
“Actually, she wants me to go with her to her house, maybe for some sex…”
“I’m pretty damn sure she didn’t come all the way here to get you to have sex with her, but…” She paused. “I guess I’ll allow it, if she does have sex with you, tell me how it was, and tell me who’s better at sex.”
I chuckled. “I will, love ya.” I ran down the stairs just about as fast as I ran up them , and ran out the front door, and saw that Ms. S. was bent over, giving me a clear view of her ass. I could see she was going comando. Right as I saw that, my boner quickly came back, I tried desparatly to hide it before she turned around, but failed, she saw a huge buldge in my jeans and her eyes became huge.
“They said I could go. They never said when I had to be back.” Ms. S. doesn’t know my dad is dead, so I kinda hide it from not only her, but most of my friends and really, anyone I meet.
I hopped into the front seat of her car, and it was a nice car, it almost looked like she cleaned it up for me. Her car was really a truck and it was a ’78 Chevy Bonanza C20 pick-up, it was a manual and it was really freaking awesome. I’m a huge fan of trucks, so this is nice.
She primed the engine by stepping down on the gas petal a few times, and the truck started without a problem. We where quiet most of the way there, I was admiring the beauty of the truck, and she was probably trying to hold herself from- you know- until we got to her place or something.
She finally broke the silence by asking my plans for the weekend.
“I dunno, I just planned on taking walks through the neighborhood, maybe take my drivers test, nothing major.” I sort-of lied.
“That’s it?” She asked.
“Yeah, I didn’t plan on getting picked up by my Algebra teacher and going to her house, I didn’t plan on a lot of things that have already happened.” SHUT UP! My mind was telling me that I’ve already said to much, THINK OF SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE FUCKING YOUR MOTHER!
“Like what?”
“Just things…” I said, plainly.
“Sex?” She asked me.
“N-No, I don’t even have a girlfriend right now, so who would I do it with? My Mom?”
“Yes.”
[ End of Part 3 ]

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